Monday, September 15, 2008

Excavating The Soul...

A heart to heart with God...

Where have I hidden my heart from you, O Lord? I have buried it deep within my being, far from You. I have separated my heart from Your presence or so I thought.

Lord, I laid my heart on the ground. That’s how it first got so dirty. My own desires drew my heart away from You and into the dirt. The more and more dirt fell on my heart as my desires led to sin and drew me away from You. At first it didn’t seem so bad, but now I realize that all this dirt has blocked me from your light.

The loneliest moment was when I could no longer see Your light at all. My sin had become a deadness I brought on myself. My soul was a dark place, far from You- buried under layers of self serving. My soul became the coffin of my heart. I don’t like it here. I try and try to dig myself out of this grave that I’ve buried myself in. I claw at the dirt to not avail. How can I reach the light of Your presence and love? Lord, please come and set my heart free. Lift it from this dark place. Lord, please dig through the levels of separation that I have put between us and excavate my soul.

The first layer that must be dug through is pride. I admit it Lord, its true. Pride is what packs down this soil so hard on my life. It is so easy to obsess about the externals and what other people think of me. There is this constant pressure to appear more spiritual than I really am, to give the appearance of righteousness, to say the right things, to not say too much. Maybe its true that I hold myself back from truly connecting with you. No, it’s more than that. I guess it is hard to really admit how far I have drifted from you…prone to wander Lord I feel it, prone to leave the God I love.

I guess pride is what keeps me from being placed completely in your hands. Right now Lord, I ask you to break through this layer of pride, help me to be honest with You, with myself and with others.

Read Psalm 51:1-4

Lord, there are these weeds that have grown up in my heart from all the wrong thinking patterns that I have developed. I guess the biggest lie is believing that You can’t meet my needs for love, for satisfaction, for fulfillment.

It has created all these layers of sin that I’ve buried myself in. I fear that my desires have got the best of me and that I will never truly experience intimacy with You. I know that on my own I cannot break the power of sin in my life.

Lord, please show me where to dig. Thank you that You never rest in the pursuit of my heart and there is no sin or sins that are too much for You.

Thank you that as far as the east is from the west so far have you removed my transgressions from me – that You throw them into the deepest sea and remember them no more.

Thank you that you don’t leave me here and that You long to till and cultivate my soul and that You lead me to dig through the layers and that You can reach my heart.

Read Psalm 51:5-11

As God continues to show me where to dig my shovel hits bedrock where my loyalties rest. This bedrock consists of what I treasure the most.

It is one thing to admire God from a distance, its quite another thing to kneel at His feet and pledge your life to Him.

There have been many recommitments along the way and my rededicator is so easily worn out in my own strength.

I know that wherever my time and money is spent, my heart is right there in the mix. So, you have asked me to honor you with both and it is so easy to get distracted, to make excuses… but when I give you Father what is most precious to me, you unearth the bedrock of my soul and use it for the foundation for my faith. God, I know you want to keep digging right to the deepest level of my loyalties. You want to be my treasure. Your love oh Lord can reach my heart.

Read Matthew 6:19-21

When my heart is in Your hands then and only then can I truly celebrate and so do You. The treasure that was hidden in the dirt has become truly God’s. It is the most valuable treasure the world has ever known and it is the only treasure that will last. God’s excavation makes way for my heart to bask in His amazing light, bringing new life and healing. He takes my heart that I’ve placed in his hands, He carefully cleans it off and then holds it close to His own. My heart begins to beat strong again, my heart has found its true home.

Read Psalm 51:12-19


If you let Him, God will hold your heart close to His. God will remove the barriers, He will make you clean, but He is calling for your devotion..not your devotions, not your church attendance, not your appearance of righteousness. He longs to clothe you in the righteousness of Christ. Are you willing for Him to do soul surgery?

Pour out your heart to God.

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